There’s nothing wrong with taking a honest look at yourself and admitting there are parts of your life that could use improvement. I don’t think wanting to better yourself makes you a loser at all, in fact the exact opposite. Just willing to think about it takes courage, let alone actually doing something.
What’s having a life people want to be part of? It means living a life of passion. It means finding that driving force within you and bringing it out. It means setting an example that other people want to follow. It means being a leader without a title. It means developing boundaries and standards.
The core problem with you and other people is that you have a mindset that carries over into every area of your life, including relationships. This mindset stems from low self esteem and not owning up to your true value and realizing what you bring to the table.
Plain and simple, if you think that girls have it easy in a relationship, this is a reflection on you, and you’ll seek out and be attracted to girls with a similar low self-esteem. If you don’t believe that you deserve to be treated well, you’ll go out and look for examples that justify your theory, and use that evidence to form your beliefs. You’ll see and focus on the couples with unhappy relationships, while completely blocking out the laughing couple that just walked past you.
Learn to always test and criticize your beliefs, always – even if you’ve held them for years. Your beliefs don’t make you who you are. Your mind constantly plays tricks on you, the trick is to be aware of this when it happens. Things are never what they seem.
The thing is, when you trying to increase your expectations, you always put enormous efforts and refuse from things you naturally wouldn’t do (like restricting yourself from using the Internet, watching YouTube).
And I found out when I am putting forth effort to increase my motivation, there are some real borders of leaving your comfort zone. Now in the last two months I lived only within my comfort zone (except for the fact that sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the mornings to go to my job, and except for some moments on my job). And I don’t want to leave my comfort zone! I am becoming so freaking productive in this state of mind! And I sometimes even feel that trying to “push” on your motivational side is something which really requires using extra patience which will often put your nervous system into an over-exhausted state; sometimes you might feel your heartbeat increasing, for example.
By developing high motivational standards I kind of lead myself to the state of mind of a paranoid person which worries every minute about every detail.
Well honestly right now I feel so confused about everything, I think something strange is happening right now in my mind. My language is becoming worse every day, I feel I lose the vocabulary in my native language, I keep forgetting things, maybe I should get back to high standards, that “driving force”?