Don’t Love Soccer

a fieldThis time of the year is my favorite out of all the seasons. I was never a big fan of summer so I’m glad it’s pretty much over. I am not a big fan of being hot all the time and I get hot easily. Yes it is nice to be outside and do things but not when you are a sweaty mess ten minutes into whatever it is you are doing.

I went to an outdoor music festival with my friend Jeff last month and it was one of the hottest days of the year. Some of the bands including the headliner Nine Inch Nails were good but to get close enough to the stage you had to hold your spot. Being out in the sun for 3 hours without moving and feeling like a sardine with all the people around was not my idea of a good time. I couldn’t wait to get home to take a shower.

There are other reasons that don’t revolve around the weather that make this time of the year my favorite. Out of all the sports out there I am by far the biggest fan of the NFL. My team the Philadelphia Eagles are off to a good start too. I think their second year quarterback Carson Wentz has Hall of Fame potential. He looks like a veteran out there on the field. It is sort of scary to think that he is still learning the game at the NFL level. I was sure glad the front office went out and got him some help on offense this year too. He actually has two good wide receivers to throw to this year especially Alshon Jeffrey. I can tell they are starting to click and are more on the same page than they were earlier in the season. I am thinking about going to one of their games later in the year but have to see if my Dad will want to go with me. I’m going to be in town for Thanksgiving and would like to go that week. I am pretty excited about going home to visit as it has been over a year since I’ve been home. Last year I started a new job and didn’t have any vacation days to use. I have three nephews that I can’t wait to see. The two youngest are actually playing football now and I’m hoping I can go watch one of their games too. I’ll even settle for practice if they aren’t playing that week. Their schedules don’t go out that far so I’ll have to wait to see on that.

I’m not as big of a fan of MLB but if you are going to watch baseball now is the time to do it. The playoffs are always good. It is like watching a chess match between the two managers and to me that is fascinating. I am actually pulling for the Cubs to repeat this year. I think it would be pretty neat to see them win it all again. The curse was finally broken last year and that was as good as it gets for baseball unless you are a White Sox fan. I think it is amusing that a city can have two teams and their fans can’t stand each other’s teams. I never really knew about it until I moved to Chicago back in 2006. I remember walking past Wrigley Field and seeing a bunch of Cubs fans giving a guy in a Sox hat a hard time. It was all in good fun but you could tell there was animosity there.

New ideas

Trying to find health insurance can be quite the difficult task.  I mean, there are a lot of providers out there but some of them aren’t really having very good of deals and I think that you might want to see if there is anything else you can find.  So when browsing you should keep in mind the kind of things you want and any things that you might need to be available for you.  I was looking at some sites to see what I could find and it’s just the kind of thing that I was kind of seeing assortments of different choices where I wasn’t sure exactly what I preferred.  There are a basket of other options for people who need a different sort of care, like self directed support, and that can be kind of helpful.  But the thing is that you need to find a place that will give you want you are looking for.  So there are decidedly a few different selections depending on what you require.

The other thing I have been doing is trying to find some sew stuff for my kitchen.  The only thing I really need is a new set of racks for my towels but I’m not sure what kind I want to get.  But I was looking at some at this one place and found some that I think would be pretty good and I might want to get them.  My kitchen is cool because I don’t really know much about what I am doing in there but I have gotten a few things that I really like and thing that it ends up making things look pretty nice.  But I have a few other ideas that I was going to try and I”m not sure how many of them I will like so I am just doing it the way I want and thinking that I am probably going to stay with what I have now.  That’s what I do when I need to buy things for my fort.  That’s something that I like to do, though, when I am looking for things I like to see what is available because I think that there are some interesting items you can get that work pretty well in your place so that is part of the reason that I like to do that.  The other thing is that it gives me some inspiration for what I am planning and it lets me think of new ideas, quickly.

Grounds And Stuff

The biggest thing that you probably notice if you are going through my neighborhood is that everyone seems to have a design in front of their place that looks really nice. People have like bushes and everything and it just seems really well designed. Maybe the people who live there have all used people who know what they are doing. The thing that I want to do is get my place looking up to the standard of every other place here, not because I’m trying to keep up with everything, but just because it’s something that I want to do anyway. So I was thinking that I’m going to see what I can do as far as getting some bushes and stuff that might look attractive.

In the back I want to change some stuff around and see if I can put in an area to grow some vegetables or whatever and that would be something I think that would add not only some features to the yard but additionally it would give it a bit of distinction because it would kind of set it away from the rest. The thing is, I don’t really know anything about gardens or any of that, however thinking about it I can imagine what I would put out there. The most important thing I think is some metal garden furniture because that is like what really makes it clear that you have your own area and kind of makes it real rather than just being like yeah, that’s where I put my stuff. So while I am thinking about all of this I have been trying to convince myself that it is something I want to do.

The main issue I am having is that I am not really certain of how any of this stuff should go. It’s like I want to have everything a certain way but I don’t really know how to get there and because I have never done any type of planting or anything like this it is going to be something that I am doing as figuring out in the process. That is what makes it cool, however, so it’s definitely something that I think will enhance both my personal knowledge as well as the impression of my condo. And then you’ve got the people that will maybe be ale to come over and see it and that will be cool as I can get some opinion from that em about what they think and everything, of course it will be mine so its’ up to me what I am going to do but  really I think that this is something that will make my place seem a bit more finished. Keeping in mind that I don’t really have much experience when it comes to this stuff so it might not even be what I want, either, but I guess that is what I will uncover as I do arrangements.

I Am More Of A Gardener Than A Computer Tech

There are two computers in our office and I think I should probably get a wireless router.  Since we have two now there needs to be some way to connect them together.  I was going to just use a normal router but I figured wireless is probably the way to go since we might get a laptop or something later and then we’d need to be able to get online with that one, too.  The only thing I have used is a the modem that I get from my ISP so I don’t really know much about wireless routers.  I had to go online and start reading about how they work and the different speeds and everything.  I figured I wanted the fastest one because I don’t want to get something and then our internet is going too slow.  When I’m viewing stuff I want it to load well.  I was reading about the Netgear r6300 on a review highlight and it seems that it’s a good option, and it seems pretty fast.  The reviews I’ve read on other sites say that the range is good, too, and like I said even though both of the computers are in our office, we still might need to be able to go online with a laptop and having a router with good range is important for that.  So apparently Wireless-N is good although i am not sure exactly what that means, but that’s why I like to look up stuff online when I am trying to make a decision about what to buy.

Some other features include Advanced QoS as well as Simultaneous Dual Band, and I heard those are good so I’m going to see if I can find out more models that feature those as well.

Really, though, having internet is the only thing we want and we are not really power users although I like to play some online games that can get slow if the internet connection s tarts to get a little lagged, so I just want to have a wireless modem that works well enough that we can go online and not have to worry about data transfer or anything like that and that’s why I’ve been checking out some of the options from the different manufacturers and will probably pick the one that has all the features on it.  It should be relatively easy to use, too.

Fuel Economy

I have been talking to this guy I know about what kind of car he should get.  He is telling me he wants to get a Lexus and I know that a few people I know have Lexuses and I think they like them for the most part.  He said that he doesn’t want to buy one, though, and was thinking about leasing instead.  He asked me if I knew anything about that and I said no, although I think in some cases it might be a good idea to lease.  I don’t know what the rules are or anything other than having a general idea of how it works but I’m sure he will be able to find out more and then look at the Lexus lease deals that are out there and see which ones works the best for him.  He is one of those guys who likes to talk about cars and even though I am also into cars, I don’t really know as much as him so I will get lost in some of the things he’s talking about especially if it gets too complicated.  Of course, there are topics that I know a lot about that he doesn’t know anything about, so it all evens out.  I think that if I were going to get a new car right now I would probably want to get something that was a hybrid.  I have been hearing that some of them can get really good gas mileage and I haven’t actually seen any up close or at the dealer, but I’ve been seeing them on TV.  I think that’s a pretty good idea, too, because the less gas you use is probably better for all.  In fact, I think I might actually go try and learn more about hybrids now.  I might even tell my friend to buy a hybrid although I don’t think that’s exactly the kind of car he’s looking for.  He has very specific tastes and I think that he wants something a bit more stylish.  That’s not to say that some of the cars that don’t rely solely on gas aren’t stylish, but like I said he has his own preferences.

Speaking of which, I think that I might want to get an original record by my favorite artist, Motley Crue.  Don’t make fun of me, I’m a big heavy metal fan and that is one of my favorite bands.  I’m trying to get more into records because I know some purists think they have the best sound, and I think that if I’m going to try that I might as well start with one of my favorite bands.  Actually, the guy I mentioned earlier isn’t really that into music and he always asks me for recommendations for what bands he should check out.  Music is to me what cars are to him.

Looking At Houses

My old roommate just moved to Charleston, SC. That’s quite a move and we were talking about what kind of home he should get. There are a lot of places online like this one where you can look at homes that are available. We have pretty similar tastes in homes so I was helping him look for them although I’m not moving. I know if I like a home he probably will, too, and vice versa. Sometimes you see one and you know right away that it’s not your style. I would pretty much rule those ones out and not even show them to him. I’d email him homes throughout the day while we were at work and he would reply with whether he would get a place like that or not.

He actually talked about renting a place but he’s at the point where he doesn’t want to rent anymore. We’ve been roommates for the last 3 years and so I think it’s pretty cool that he just bought a place.

I’m going to keep living by myself for awhile now. I like the place where I live and I don’t have a reason to move right now. It’s pretty close to my job and it’s nice, and now I have an extra bedroom that I might use as an office. I thought about getting another roommate but I’m going to live by myself for awhile. Living by yourself is pretty cool because you can do whatever you want and you don’t have to worry about anyone else getting in your way, and the only dirty dishes are your own. It’s nice. I can also watch whatever TV shows I want and not have to wait for him to finish watching something if something I want to watch comes on.

Anyway, I’ll be kind of sad now that he moved out. Like I said, he was a good roommate and we got along most of the time. Of course people always fight a little bit but generally speaking we didn’t have any issues. We both went to bed at around the same time and we both got up around the same time. I’m definitely going to go visit him once he’s settled in and take a look at his new house that I helped him pick out. He sent me some pics. He’s got a nice living room and an open floor plan which I really like. It’s got an island in the kitchen, too.

How Much Do You Want To Know?

Just to clarify, my impression, which may be wrong, is that you and I tend to think differently about whether omission or openness is the most ethical route in fraught situations. Based on things you’ve said about this in the past. Exactly the degree of the difference, I’m not sure. I think we probably start from the same premises. And there are probably cases where we agree. So it is somewhere in between.

I find the security of knowing that you’re not flying blind, in practice, vastly outweighs the theoretical bliss of selective ignorance.

But mostly, human nature being what it is, I deeply distrust the presumption that, exactly at the moment when it’s most emotionally significant, I can know better than another person what information that person should be permitted to have. Even assuming I somehow could pull off deception perfectly. I mean, really? It may be well-intentioned, but it sounds like a policy very vulnerable to corruption. Certainly, I distrust the presumption that another person would in a billion years know better than I do what information I should be permitted to have. I guess the oneliner would be: denying another person agency is an extreme act that requires extreme justification.

Of course, if somebody explicitly requests not to know something, or not to know a whole class of somethings, then it’s not theft.

Then there’s the fact that it’s not actually possible to deceive perfectly. The result of trying, especially when it comes to big stuff, is a family of elephants in the room, and that special vibe two people have when there’s a ton of unsaid stuff filling the ever-growing space between them. IME.

But I also think it may depend on the person. Some people do take an ignorance is bliss approach, and maybe it works for them. I don’t have any idea how, but maybe it does. In my particular case, I’ve always found that mysteries are negative in a way that reality can never match. When Emily hooks up with a guy, I have in the past preferred to know:
– did she enjoy it
– his personality
etc.

And similarly, when I was in a monogamous relationship, I would much have preferred if my SO had been comfortable acknowledging other peoples’ attractiveness than pretending to be asexual “for my benefit.”

I see in theory why secrecy is kind, but in practice I’m suspicious of it, and particularly so when it comes to romantic relationships.

Big Anniversary

This time next month I will be in Australia with my husband for our 25th wedding anniversary. We decided to go there because we never travel and both have always wanted to visit the land down under. We are going to be there for a full week and have a lot of fun stuff planned. One thing we are doing is taking a tour of the Great Ocean Road, which I can’t wait for. My husband is also going to do some deep sea fishing. I told him I’ll let him go and do that by himself and I’ll go and do some shopping by myself. He agreed on all counts on that since like most men he doesn’t care much for shopping. It is that kind of compromise that is why we are still together after all these years.

5 years ago for our 20th we went to Chicago which was nice. My husband actually used to work there years ago so it was sort of like a homecoming for him. We stayed downtown and hit up all the tourist spots including the Navy Pier. I of course did my fair amount of shopping one day while he went to the horse track. He wanted me to go with him but I don’t see the point of betting on horses running around a circle. I’m the same way with racecar driving which he is also a fan of. I know every year that the Daytona 500 is a day that I can’t make any plans. He usually barbeques and invites a bunch of his friends over to watch the race.

I told him that for our 30th I want to go to Europe. I figure that would be a good time to go because after that we might not be able to get around too well. I don’t want to say how old I am (what woman does?) but in 10 years I’m not going to be s spring chicken anymore. I think some people would say I’m not now but that’s debatable. I know that I run circles around the women I work with and most if not all of them are years younger than me. They gave me a nickname at work which I think is funny. They call me the Energizer Bunny. They don’t know about the pot of coffee that I drink before I come into work and I’m going to keep it that way, ha.

Self Improvement Ramblings

There’s nothing wrong with taking a honest look at yourself and admitting there are parts of your life that could use improvement. I don’t think wanting to better yourself makes you a loser at all, in fact the exact opposite. Just willing to think about it takes courage, let alone actually doing something.

What’s having a life people want to be part of? It means living a life of passion. It means finding that driving force within you and bringing it out. It means setting an example that other people want to follow. It means being a leader without a title. It means developing boundaries and standards.

The core problem with you and other people is that you have a mindset that carries over into every area of your life, including relationships. This mindset stems from low self esteem and not owning up to your true value and realizing what you bring to the table.

Plain and simple, if you think that girls have it easy in a relationship, this is a reflection on you, and you’ll seek out and be attracted to girls with a similar low self-esteem. If you don’t believe that you deserve to be treated well, you’ll go out and look for examples that justify your theory, and use that evidence to form your beliefs. You’ll see and focus on the couples with unhappy relationships, while completely blocking out the laughing couple that just walked past you.

Learn to always test and criticize your beliefs, always – even if you’ve held them for years. Your beliefs don’t make you who you are. Your mind constantly plays tricks on you, the trick is to be aware of this when it happens. Things are never what they seem.

The thing is, when you trying to increase your expectations, you always put enormous efforts and refuse from things you naturally wouldn’t do (like restricting yourself from using the Internet, watching YouTube).

And I found out when I am putting forth effort to increase my motivation, there are some real borders of leaving your comfort zone. Now in the last two months I lived only within my comfort zone (except for the fact that sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the mornings to go to my job, and except for some moments on my job). And I don’t want to leave my comfort zone! I am becoming so freaking productive in this state of mind! And I sometimes even feel that trying to “push” on your motivational side is something which really requires using extra patience which will often put your nervous system into an over-exhausted state; sometimes you might feel your heartbeat increasing, for example.

By developing high motivational standards I kind of lead myself to the state of mind of a paranoid person which worries every minute about every detail.

Well honestly right now I feel so confused about everything, I think something strange is happening right now in my mind. My language is becoming worse every day, I feel I lose the vocabulary in my native language, I keep forgetting things, maybe I should get back to high standards, that “driving force”?

Everyone Is Moving!

And some good news from my sister, too!

My husband called me at lunch today with some big and exciting news. His boss called him into his office and told him that he is getting a long overdue promotion. He is going to head up the new sales division in Wells Branch which means we are moving! I am so excited about all of this although we have a lot to figure out still. For starters I need to start on a home search which should be fun. His company is going to pay for all of our moving expenses which will be nice.

This really couldn’t come at a better time because we have been kicking around the idea of selling gooour house for weeks now. I should say I have been while my husband didn’t want to. He just didn’t think it was a good idea to get a more expensive mortgage but that doesn’t matter anymore. I am not going to say how much his raise was but it was enough we don’t have to worry about that anymore. I work myself as a physical therapist so I can get work anywhere. I have actually been out of work for a month as I am in-between jobs at the moment. I guess that worked out for the best because now I won’t have to give my two weeks or anything like that. I can instead focus on getting us ready to move!

One thing I am not going to look forward to is packing. We have a lot of stuff and it is all going to have to be put in boxes. Our attic alone is jam packed with stuff that all needs to go. I told my husband he needs to get up there this weekend and start bringing stuff down. I don’t like going up there myself as it is sort of scary. I don’t mean in a boo kind of way but the floor up there is very weak. You can to really watch where you step or you could fall through the floor. That is something I always wanted to fix but we never got around to it. As you can probably imagine it isn’t cheap to fix something like that. We would have had to replace the whole floor. I hope that doesn’t hurt us when it comes to selling but I’m sure it will be a factor or sorts.