There’s nothing wrong with taking a honest look at yourself and admitting there are parts of your life that could use improvement. I don’t think wanting to better yourself makes you a loser at all, in fact the exact opposite. Just willing to think about it takes courage, let alone actually doing something.

What’s having a life people want to be part of? It means living a life of passion. It means finding that driving force within you and bringing it out. It means setting an example that other people want to follow. It means being a leader without a title. It means developing boundaries and standards.

The core problem with you and other people is that you have a mindset that carries over into every area of your life, including relationships. This mindset stems from low self esteem and not owning up to your true value and realizing what you bring to the table.

Plain and simple, if you think that girls have it easy in a relationship, this is a reflection on you, and you’ll seek out and be attracted to girls with a similar low self-esteem. If you don’t believe that you deserve to be treated well, you’ll go out and look for examples that justify your theory, and use that evidence to form your beliefs. You’ll see and focus on the couples with unhappy relationships, while completely blocking out the laughing couple that just walked past you.

Learn to always test and criticize your beliefs, always – even if you’ve held them for years. Your beliefs don’t make you who you are. Your mind constantly plays tricks on you, the trick is to be aware of this when it happens. Things are never what they seem.

The thing is, when you trying to increase your expectations, you always put enormous efforts and refuse from things you naturally wouldn’t do (like restricting yourself from using the Internet, watching YouTube).

And I found out when I am putting forth effort to increase my motivation, there are some real borders of leaving your comfort zone. Now in the last two months I lived only within my comfort zone (except for the fact that sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the mornings to go to my job, and except for some moments on my job). And I don’t want to leave my comfort zone! I am becoming so freaking productive in this state of mind! And I sometimes even feel that trying to “push” on your motivational side is something which really requires using extra patience which will often put your nervous system into an over-exhausted state; sometimes you might feel your heartbeat increasing, for example.

By developing high motivational standards I kind of lead myself to the state of mind of a paranoid person which worries every minute about every detail.

Well honestly right now I feel so confused about everything, I think something strange is happening right now in my mind. My language is becoming worse every day, I feel I lose the vocabulary in my native language, I keep forgetting things, maybe I should get back to high standards, that “driving force”?

And some good news from my sister, too!

My husband called me at lunch today with some big and exciting news. His boss called him into his office and told him that he is getting a long overdue promotion. He is going to head up the new sales division in Wells Branch which means we are moving! I am so excited about all of this although we have a lot to figure out still. For starters I need to start on a home search which should be fun. His company is going to pay for all of our moving expenses which will be nice.

This really couldn’t come at a better time because we have been kicking around the idea of selling gooour house for weeks now. I should say I have been while my husband didn’t want to. He just didn’t think it was a good idea to get a more expensive mortgage but that doesn’t matter anymore. I am not going to say how much his raise was but it was enough we don’t have to worry about that anymore. I work myself as a physical therapist so I can get work anywhere. I have actually been out of work for a month as I am in-between jobs at the moment. I guess that worked out for the best because now I won’t have to give my two weeks or anything like that. I can instead focus on getting us ready to move!

One thing I am not going to look forward to is packing. We have a lot of stuff and it is all going to have to be put in boxes. Our attic alone is jam packed with stuff that all needs to go. I told my husband he needs to get up there this weekend and start bringing stuff down. I don’t like going up there myself as it is sort of scary. I don’t mean in a boo kind of way but the floor up there is very weak. You can to really watch where you step or you could fall through the floor. That is something I always wanted to fix but we never got around to it. As you can probably imagine it isn’t cheap to fix something like that. We would have had to replace the whole floor. I hope that doesn’t hurt us when it comes to selling but I’m sure it will be a factor or sorts.

Check out this letter I just got from my younger brother.  I remember when I first moved in with my significant other.  Haha!

My girlfriend finally caved in and agreed that we should live together. Her only thing was that we had to get a new place as she didn’t want to live at my place. It is too far from her job and her place is way too small for me to move in there. I told her that was fine as I am on a month to month lease. She rents her apartment from her parents so she doesn’t have to worry about that with them. She told me this last night over dinner so now I have to figure out where we are going to stay.

I know it has to be closer to her job which is fine by me. I work from home most of the time so that doesn’t really concern me. She works in a very nice part of town so I’m sure that the apartments there will be expensive. I have good credit though so it isn’t that big of a deal. I also have to consider that we are going to be splitting the rent and utilities so I can definitely afford more than I pay now.

The one thing I would like to have is a pool. I haven’t had one since I was a kid. It gets so hot here during here during the summer so it would be nice to be able to cool off when I wanted to. I like to ride my bike a lot for exercise and could wear my swim trunks on my ride then come home and jump right in the pool. That would be sweet so I’ll definitely be looking for a place that has one. My girlfriend pretty much left it up to me to find a place although she will have a say in the matter of course. We’ll go together on the walk through and all that.

I will be sort of sad leaving my current place as I have been here since I graduated college. I have a lot of good memories here but I know I can’t stay here forever. I’m a bit worried about my cat Travis adjusting to a new place but I think he’ll be ok. He is a very sensitive cat and doesn’t do well with changes. When I have visitors over (except for my girlfriend as he is used to her by now) he will hide under my bed until well after they leave. I’ll have to make sure he gets plenty of attention when we move so he isn’t overwhelmed.